Teenage Girl

Have you been around teenagers much? I mean in this century? Perhaps in this decade, this year? Even in this day and age? And in particular, have you been around teenage girls?

My daughter, bless her heart because really she is a very sweet, smart girl, has left this fifty year old man dazed and confused.

Let’s start with how fourteen year old girls communicate. Do you speak “teenage-eze?” How about “teenage-girl?” Believe me, I speak neither. I gave my daughter and four friends a ride home. In the car, they giggled and gaggled, talked all at the same time, and raced from seemingly one topic to another in nano-seconds streaming all thoughts of consciousness together into run-on sentences, then with one giant simultaneous pause, burst into unified laughter. And then these girls started the process all over again. I had no clue what they were talking about or what was so funny.

Teenage girls text message each other with relentless veracity. These creatures pound out words and messages faster with their thumbs than I can type my name on a normal keyboard. I took typing 101 in high school to learn how to type on what is now an old fashioned and obsolete type-writer. Do they teach “texting 101” in school these days?

I caught my daughter curling her hair in the bathroom one morning while texting her friends at the same time. This is the ultimate multi-tasking. She text messages under the table while sitting at the dinner table (like we are not going to notice….), under her covers while going to bed, and who knows where else. And all of these messages are very private. If you ever try to lean over and sneak a peek, it is like you committed the gravest of privacy invasions!

Is there anyone out there that speaks “teenage-eze?” How about “teenage-girl?” I need help. Please, someone help this dinosaur dad………